Colton Underwood "didn't want to be gay".
The former 'Bachelor' star revealed his sexuality during a sit-down interview on 'Good Morning America' in April and the 29-year-old star has now reflected on his struggles with confronting his true self.
Speaking in the trailer for his upcoming Netflix series 'Coming Out Colton', he said: "I didn't want to be gay. And the main voices in my head were just telling me, 'You'll get through this, you'll get through this, you'll get through this.'
The former footballer thought he would "die" with his "secret", but ultimately came out because he felt "mortified" over his behaviour with Cassie Randolph, who he ended his 'Bachelor' season in a relationship with in 2019, though they split in May the following year and the 26-year-old beauty later filed for a restraining order against him for alleged harassment, though she dropped it two months later.
He reflected: "I never thought I was going to come out, I thought I was going to die with this secret.
"[I put] a poor girl through [a] hell of my own insecurities."
The trailer then saw Colton's behaviour called out by his father, Scott Underwood.
He said: "Cassie filed a restraining order against you. You went off the rails."
And a friend told him: "What you put her through was bulls***."
Colton admitted to his mother, Donna Underwood, that he was "starting to hurt other people outside of just myself."
In the promotional clip, a church official told the 'Bachelor in Paradise' star what he really needed to do.
The official said: "You want to sit down and apologise to make yourself feel better. The best thing you can do is face up to what you've done and find out who the hell you are."
The trailer concluded on a positive note, with the emotional star reflecting on how he felt "the best I've ever felt" since coming out.